 The term "illusory self" typically refers to the idea that your sense of self, or your personal identity, is an illusion or a mental construct that does not correspond to a real, separate entity. Your perception of your self as unique and autonomous is an aleatory creation in each moment, unstable and not objective. In other words, the self you believe to be real and enduring is simply a mental construct or illusion. This illusion is a temporary and dependent phenomenon created by your thoughts, emotions, and perceptions. The self you experience is defined by the borders and boundaries you construct to defend aspects of the illusory self that you are attached to, primarily your self-image.
Self-image refers to your mental representation or perception of your self, including your physical appearance, personality traits, values, abilities, and overall identity. It is a subjective and multifaceted concept that is influenced by a range of internal and external factors, such as past experiences, social norms, cultural beliefs, and feedback from others. Your self-image is composed of different components, including physical self-image, social self-image, and psychological self-image. You may have even generated a spiritual self-image. All these components contribute to your overall self-image and shape how you view yourself and your place in the world. Self-image can be positive or negative, which can have a significant impact on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Defending your self-image is a natural human tendency enacted to protect your sense of identity and self-worth, and depending on the situation and your personality, you may utilize one or many strategies. Here are a few strategies you may recognize: Denial: You may deny or ignore negative feedback or criticism that threatens your self-image. For example, if someone tells you that you are not good at something, you might dismiss the comment as irrelevant or untrue. Rationalization: You may explain away negative feedback or criticism by making excuses or justifications. For example, you might say you did poorly on a test because the questions were too hard or because you were feeling sick. Blaming others: You may attribute negative feedback or criticism to external factors or other people, rather than taking responsibility yourself. For example, you might blame your poor performance on a teacher who didn't explain the material well enough. Comparing yourself to others: You may compare themselves to others who are worse off or who have similar flaws, in order to feel better about yourself. For example, you might say, "At least I'm not as bad as so-and-so." Seeking social support: You might seek validation and support from friends, family, or other people who share your beliefs or values. For example, you might talk to someone who you know will be sympathetic and reassuring. It's important to note that some of these strategies may seem to be adaptive and healthy, while others may seem to be maladaptive and harmful. However, we suggest that by accepting and knowing the illusory nature of self, you can eliminate the strategies altogether and liberate yourself from attachment to self-image. Expanding your sense of what self is will be a more effective means of freeing yourself from maintaining the boundaries required to reify your solo self. Most importantly, realize that you tend to defend your borders and boundaries in the belief that you are defending your self, however, the self is just a construct, an illusory perception and not real, so truly there is nothing to defend. Boundaries are raised at particular times and lowered at other times. Consciously and unconsciously. As you move daily through various states of awareness and unawareness you constantly erect borders and boundaries to maintain the sense of self. Boundaries can seem to be practical for establishing autonomy and relationship, and yet boundaries surrounding an illusory self promote the notion of self as separate and independent. With this view, the illusion of the self can become a source of suffering, as it leads you to attach to a false sense of identity and to experience craving, attachment, and aversion. The aspiration is to recognize that your self is totality, all that is, One Life Awareness, that your self is not a lone, singularly functioning entity whose boundaries must be defended. A self that would be separate is an illusion. A self is a complex system, composed of many things—ideas, perceptions, emotions, actually all and everything that is. One Life is you—your self. The self is all that is, and you pick and choose from all that is to define some portion of that wholeness to be you, but you actually are that wholeness. The concept that an independent, bordered, boundaried self can have connection to others is erroneous thinking. Having any boundaries at all is contrary to experiencing the ultimate knowing that All That Is is who you are. Let go of this idea that you are a separate self, and see how much energy frees up when you stop defending the borders and boundaries you perceive to be necessary. The notion that you must defend your self-image is rooted in fear of connection. And we would say that everyone experiences fear of connection just as they experience fear of disconnection. Your sense of separateness will most likely never leave you. Your strategies to protect your self-image will likely remain. But, you can understand how boundaries and defending them function for you, and realize there is no need to fortify boundaries in order to support a self that is ultimately illusory. Set your self free from attachment to self-image and notions of an independent self and you will thrive in greater and deeper awareness and loving kindness. This is simply loving everyone and everything and just being you.
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